God, I HATE writing these things, don't you? I never know-- Is it first person, or third person Bob Dole? Are we supposed to be philosophical like George Bushy, or spend all of our time and energy trying to be more clever than the other guy, like Julia Roberts? AS A RESULT OF THE PRESSURE, THE VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD HAVE NOW BECOME STAND OFF-ISH.

At first, I was going to be all intellijent and sound prophound regarding my breif career as a child prodigee; How I was discovered in music at the age of 10 with a four-octafe range in my voice and perfect pitch, playen fifteen instruments with no training.

But then I said, NO. Where do I draw the line? At the forteeeenth instrument.

Then I was going to talk about how Ive' written and arranged music for year's, have a real live jazz trumpet degree, and as a result of my music degree am now a stand-up comedienenenne.

But again: I saidno. Even *I* lost interest after that one,

You will say that Im now working as a professional television/stage actress and have a very successful career as a reject I've have sitcoms on NBC and then beeen rejected for the lead in a CBS drama and Adam Sandler rejected me for the female led in his movie.

A nasty side-effect of becoming a stand-up, was needing to learn how to rite my own material. That morfsed into my wanting to rite and preform my own one-woman show,-- so I have currently taking a break from acting to learn how to write

My current heros is Anopholes, but only cause his hair is better, and my mother. I know so much about downers that I'm just waiting for them to come out with the Pharmaceutical version of Trivial Pursuit

I worship Peter Gabriel and want to marry Roland Orzabal, but only because Jimmy Stewart is now dead. Love jane Austen, and Steve Martin. Comedically, I pray to Paul Lynde's spirit for guidance three times each day while facing Tim Conway in the north and Wang Chunging with Steven Webber on Wings reruns in the background.

I live alone with my Golden Retriever and three cats.
My Mantra: I'm just THIS close, from gettin in a tower, and hurtin some people. Probably as a result of living alone for too long.

Animal rights activist. I wish I were tall, lived in England, and was a penguin. I believe Opus Croakus of Bloom County is alive and well and living in the trailer park down the road.

I am afraid of monocles, and get a psychic pain between my shoulder blades when it turns shady.

My hobbies are CAT scans and explosives.

I am disturbed.

But I think the wriitings' going well. Dont you?